Act 00 Scene 00

Setting the Stage

30|00|13|12|L|Q|
29|00|13|12|R|Q|

Act 01 Scene 01

Long and Fast

10|00|00|12|L|S|This is a really long line. I can`t even see where it starts. 10|00|00|04|L|Q| 09|00|00|16|R|Q| 10|00|00|14|L|Q| 09|00|00|10|R|S|Yeah... Any idea what we`re waiting for? 09|00|00|04|R|Q| 10|00|00|06|L|S|It`s moving pretty fast though. 10|00|00|04|L|Q| 09|00|00|10|R|Q| 10|00|00|10|L|Q| 09|00|00|06|R|S|Is that a good thing? 09|00|00|04|R|Q| 10|00|00|08|L|T|???? 09|00|00|08|R|T|??????

Act 01 Scene 02

Quite a Few

21|00|00|10|L|S|There are a few people in this line. 21|00|00|02|L|Q| 20|00|00|12|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|Q| 20|00|00|10|R|S|Not just a few.
There are quite a few. 20|00|00|02|R|Q| 21|00|00|20|L|S|It`s not quite a few.
It`s almost a few.
But it`s not quite a few. 21|00|00|02|L|Q| 20|00|00|22|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|Q| 20|00|00|10|R|S|Oh, no...
It`s quite a few. 20|00|00|02|R|Q| 21|00|00|12|L|T|!!!! 20|00|00|12|R|T|!!!!

Act 01 Scene 10

Aldolf Sweetie

07|01|00|26|R|S|Ich kann nicht glauben, dass ich in solch einer langen Reihe, da dies zu stehen! 07|01|00|04|R|Q| 08|09|00|30|L|Q| 07|00|00|18|R|Q| 08|00|00|14|L|S|Adolf, sweetie, calm down. There`s nothing you can do about it. 08|00|00|04|L|Q| 07|00|00|26|R|S|Woher kommen all diese Leute und warum muss ich hinter ihnen warten? 07|00|00|04|R|Q| 08|00|00|30|L|Q| 07|00|00|26|R|Q| 08|00|08|22|L|S|It`s your own fault. If you hadn`t killed all those Jews, the line wouldn`t be so long! 08|00|09|04|L|Q| 07|00|00|08|R|T|!!!! 08|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 01 Scene 99

Intermission 1

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 02 Scene 03

Idol Hunger

05|00|00|10|R|S|Everything you desire is an idol. 06|00|00|05|L|Q| 06|00|00|05|L|T|???? 05|00|00|20|R|S|The only desire which is not idolatry, is the desire for God. 06|00|00|10|L|Q| 06|00|00|10|L|T|!!!! 05|00|00|14|R|Q| 06|00|00|14|L|S|Am I committing idolatry when I desire a meal? 05|00|00|16|R|S|You are, if you do not thank God for granting you the meal. 06|00|00|16|L|Q| 05|00|00|06|R|Q| 06|00|00|06|L|S|By saying grace. 05|00|00|04|R|S|Yes. 06|00|00|04|L|Q| 05|00|00|18|R|Q| 06|00|00|18|L|S|By that reasoning, I should say grace before having sex. 05|00|00|20|R|T|!!!! 06|00|00|20|L|S|``God is great. God is good. And we thank Him for this....`` 05|00|00|08|R|T|???? 06|00|00|08|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 06

The Rub

12|00|00|12|L|S|Anyone can have a partner. 11|00|00|12|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|T|???? 12|00|00|24|L|S|As long as they are willing to adjust their standards, they will always have someone. 11|00|00|24|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|S|What? 12|00|00|32|L|S|So, anytime you want someone to be your partner, you have to convince them that you are more desirable than the partner they have. 11|00|00|32|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|S|OK. 12|00|00|24|L|S|Sometimes, this is not that hard. Sometimes, this requires considerable effort. 11|00|00|24|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|S|Yeah? 12|00|00|10|L|S|And there`s the rub. 11|00|00|10|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|T|???? 12|00|00|24|L|S|I could never bring myself to work that hard at proving that I was better than someone else. 11|00|00|24|R|Q| 12|00|00|04|L|Q| 11|00|00|04|R|S|Pity.

Act 02 Scene 08

Year of our Lord

25|00|00|24|R|S|So if you reject God, and you refuse to celebrate Christmas, how do you keep time? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|28|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|What? 25|00|00|30|R|S|I mean,
our whole calendar
is based on the
Year of our Lord.
You can`t subscribe
to that, can you? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|34|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|Listen... 25|00|00|38|R|S|I suppose
you base your
calendar on the
carbon-dating
of the Earth.
So...
what`s that
make it?
About year
4 billion? 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|42|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|S|That`s stupid. 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|Q| 25|00|00|08|R|S|Must be hard to fit that on checks. 25|00|00|02|R|Q| 26|00|00|10|L|Q| 25|00|00|14|R|Q| 26|00|00|10|L|S|Nah, our bank gives us special checks with a big blank. 26|00|00|04|L|Q| 25|00|00|06|R|Q| 26|00|00|06|L|Q| 25|00|00|36|R|S|March 27th,
in the year
of our planet
4,509,831,672.
Has a nice ring to it. 25|00|00|04|R|Q| 26|00|00|40|L|Q|

Act 02 Scene 99

Intermission 2

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 01

Dark Tunnel

00|DK|00|06|R|S|Do you know where you are? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|08|R|Q| 00|DK|00|08|R|Q| 00|00|07|06|R|S|The long dark tunnel? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|Yeah...
And I`m the bright light at the end of it. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|Actually, you look kind of grayish. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|Alright, then I`m the black light in the foyer. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|18|R|Q| 00|00|07|16|R|S|Who has a black light in their foyer? Hippies maybe. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|Alright, then I`m the neon sign over the front door. 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|00|18|R|Q| 00|DK|00|18|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|``Budweiser.
King of Beers.``
Blink, blink, blink. 00|00|00|04|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|You do realize you`re about to meet your maker? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|18|R|Q| 00|00|07|16|R|S|``Check Cashing.
Open 24 Hours.``
Blink, blink, blink. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|18|R|S|Forget the neon sign! Are you prepared to meet God? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|20|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|I`m sure God would never have a black light in His foyer. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|S|Oh brother. 00|00|00|06|R|Q| 00|DK|00|20|R|Q| 00|00|07|18|R|S|Maybe a nice Tiffany lamp. Or some accent lighting... 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|ST|07|04|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 04

All Knowledge

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Have you forgiven your trespassers? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|10|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|Q| 00|00|07|04|R|S|I guess. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|You guess?
Do you know how many
people in Heaven are
holding a grudge
against you? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|Well,
Bob from work is probably still pissed... 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|None!
Zero.
Do you know why? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|Because once your dead there`s nothing you can do about it? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|Because when you get to Heaven, you understand why. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|00|07|02|R|S|Why what? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|Why Mary slapped Bill at the office party.
Why Jenny didn`t... 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|Oh yeah!
Bill probably said something stupid and off-color. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|22|R|S|That`s not the point!
The point is you will know
why trespasses happened,
and understand. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|24|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|So just because I know
why someone hurt me,
is enough for me
to forgive them? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|When you can see the whole picture,
it all makes sense. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|Q| 00|00|07|08|R|S|That does make it easier to let it all go. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|ST|07|04|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|Actually,
it was because Bill goosed her at the water cooler. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 05

Democratic Heaven

00|DK|00|08|R|S|Oh,
it`s you. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|10|R|Q| 00|DK|00|06|R|Q| 00|00|07|04|R|S|It`s me! 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|Uh... Actually...
You have been
voted out. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|Q| 00|00|07|10|R|S|What do you mean,
`Voted out`
??? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|12|R|S|We took a vote.
You didn`t get enough support. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|14|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|You can`t get voted out of Heaven! 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|S|In fact, it turns out, you can. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|16|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|Most of the people in Heaven don`t even know me. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|S|Everybody in Heaven knows you. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|12|R|Q| 00|DK|00|14|R|Q| 00|00|07|12|R|S|So,
insult one,
insult all?
Is that it? 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|22|R|S|Pretty much.
More than just one,
though, wasn`t it? 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|24|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|Q| 00|00|07|14|R|S|I thought as long as you believed in Jesus, you were in. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|S|That`s just the
story we tell,
so we can see what
you`re really like. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q| 00|00|00|18|R|Q| 00|DK|00|10|R|Q| 00|00|07|08|R|S|Bummer.
Thought I had a free pass. 00|00|00|02|R|Q| 00|DK|00|04|R|Q| 00|ST|07|04|R|Q| 00|DK|00|16|R|S|Just kidding.
You`re golden.
Still an ass, though. 00|DK|00|02|R|Q|

Act 03 Scene 99

Intermission 3

01|00|13|04|R|Q| 02|00|13|04|R|Q| 03|00|13|04|R|Q| 04|00|13|04|R|Q| 05|00|13|04|R|Q| 06|00|13|04|R|Q| 07|00|13|04|R|Q| 08|00|13|04|R|Q| 09|00|13|04|R|Q| 10|00|13|04|R|Q| 11|00|13|04|R|Q| 12|00|13|04|R|Q| 13|00|13|04|R|Q| 14|00|13|04|R|Q| 15|00|13|04|R|Q| 16|00|13|04|R|Q| 17|00|13|04|R|Q| 18|00|13|04|R|Q| 19|00|13|04|R|Q| 20|00|13|04|R|Q| 21|00|13|04|R|Q| 22|00|13|04|R|Q| 23|00|13|04|R|Q| 24|00|13|04|R|Q| 25|00|13|04|R|Q| 26|00|13|04|R|Q| 27|00|13|04|R|Q| 28|00|13|04|R|Q| 29|00|13|04|R|Q| 30|00|13|04|R|Q|

Act 04 Scene 02

Where`s Jesus?

01|00|13|08|R|Q| 02|00|13|08|R|Q| 03|00|13|08|R|Q| 04|00|13|08|R|Q| 05|00|13|08|R|Q| 06|00|13|08|R|Q| 07|00|13|08|R|Q| 08|00|13|08|R|Q| 09|00|13|08|R|Q| 10|00|13|08|R|Q| 11|00|13|08|R|Q| 12|00|13|08|R|Q| 13|00|13|08|R|Q| 14|00|13|08|R|Q| 15|00|13|08|R|Q| 16|00|13|08|R|Q| 17|00|13|08|R|Q| 18|00|13|08|R|Q| 19|00|13|08|R|Q| 20|00|13|08|R|Q| 21|00|13|08|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|R|Q| 24|00|13|08|R|Q| 25|00|13|08|R|Q| 26|00|13|08|R|Q| 27|00|13|08|R|Q| 28|00|13|08|R|Q| 29|00|13|08|R|Q| 30|00|13|08|R|Q| 01|00|13|24|R|Q| 02|00|13|24|R|Q| 03|00|13|24|R|Q| 04|00|13|24|R|Q| 05|00|13|24|R|Q| 06|00|13|24|R|Q| 07|00|13|24|R|Q| 08|00|13|24|R|Q| 09|00|13|24|R|Q| 10|00|13|24|R|Q| 11|00|13|24|R|Q| 12|00|13|24|R|Q| 13|00|13|24|R|Q| 14|00|13|24|R|Q| 15|00|13|24|R|Q| 16|00|13|24|R|Q| 17|00|13|24|R|Q| 18|00|13|24|R|Q| 19|00|13|24|R|Q| 20|00|13|24|R|Q| 21|00|13|24|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|S|Where`s Jesus? 22|00|13|16|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|L|Q| 23|00|13|16|L|S|I think he went
to get groceries. 24|00|13|24|R|Q| 25|00|13|24|R|Q| 26|00|13|24|R|Q| 27|00|13|24|R|Q| 28|00|13|24|R|Q| 29|00|13|24|R|Q| 30|00|13|24|R|Q| 01|00|13|08|R|Q| 02|00|13|08|R|Q| 03|00|13|08|R|Q| 04|00|13|08|R|Q| 05|00|13|08|R|Q| 06|00|13|08|R|Q| 07|00|13|08|R|Q| 08|00|13|08|R|Q| 09|00|13|08|R|Q| 10|00|13|08|R|Q| 11|00|13|08|R|Q| 12|00|13|08|R|Q| 13|00|13|08|R|Q| 14|00|13|08|R|Q| 15|00|13|08|R|Q| 16|00|13|08|R|Q| 17|00|13|08|R|Q| 18|00|13|08|R|Q| 19|00|13|08|R|Q| 20|00|13|08|R|Q| 21|00|13|08|R|Q| 22|00|13|08|R|Q| 23|00|13|08|R|Q| 24|00|13|08|R|Q| 25|00|13|08|R|Q| 26|00|13|08|R|Q| 27|00|13|08|R|Q| 28|00|13|08|R|Q| 29|00|13|08|R|Q| 30|00|13|08|R|Q|